Preventing conflicts between parents and children has become increasingly challenging in recent years with the emergence of modern technologies, changing social trends, and evolving family values and dynamics.
However, if we adhere to a few simple guidelines, we can create a home environment that is peaceful, harmonious, and conducive to everyone’s well-being.
Modern Lifestyles Disrupt Family Life
Modern lifestyles can exacerbate tensions between parents and children. Modern technology, for instance, is often blamed for our children’s rebellious behavior since it exposes them to negative influences.
However, a recent study revealed that even parents’ discipline behavior has been profoundly altered by today’s lifestyles.
Parents who lead busy lives may feel irritable and impatient, which can negatively impact their relationship with their children. They are also inclined to delay correcting inappropriate behavior, leading to a recurrent issue often left unresolved.
In disciplining children, consistency is crucial, but this can be challenging for parents as they are often overwhelmed and distracted by a myriad of tasks and duties.
It isn’t always fair to blame parents when they struggle to measure up to the expectations placed upon them.
No one is infallible. With a stream of tasks vying for their undivided attention, raising children has become increasingly difficult.
Thus, with today’s hectic lifestyle, distorted moral standards, and ease of access to modern devices, family life continues to be disrupted and negatively impacted in so many ways. Relationships are strained rather than nurtured, leading to an escalation of hostility that tears families apart.
9 Ways to Prevent Parent-Child Conflict
1. Set a Good Example. Demonstrate how to handle or resolve conflicts calmly.
When couples resolve conflict by screaming, swearing at each other, and physically assaulting each other, their children will follow suit. As parents, it is crucial that we teach our children conflict resolution strategies that are productive and non-violent.
It is easier said than done, but we should at least try. Knowing that our children’s success in forging meaningful relationships relies on us being excellent role models, we must strive to exhibit exemplary behaviors they can emulate.
2. Nurture a Strong Bond With Children to Avoid Conflict
People generally follow those with whom they have a loving relationship while rebelling against those they perceive as enemies.
Our children will rebel against us if they perceive us as an enemy rather than an ally.
It can, however, be a bit tricky. Our goal should be to cultivate a close relationship with our children but not to the point where we are perceived more as friends than as parents.
Hence, while we must strengthen our bond with them, we must also maintain our authority and influence over them as parents.
To achieve this, we can use a parenting approach endorsed by most child psychologists, the authoritative parenting method.
However, whatever parenting strategies we adopt, it is crucial to consider the unique needs of each child.
For instance, an emotionally distressed child cannot be disciplined the same way as a child without emotional difficulties or medical conditions, and so on.
Check out this article to learn why authoritative parenting is the best parenting method to raise intelligent, well-behaved, and compassionate children.
Note: to nurture a strong relationship with our kids, you may want to consider the ff. tips
- No matter how frantic our schedules are, we have to allot at least 30 mins or 1 hour a day to engage our children in meaningful conversations.
Ask what difficulties they are having, their joys, pains or worries, etc. It should be a spontaneous conversation where anything goes and everything can be discussed.
- Designate a spot in the house where you can talk about things more freely.
- Make the discussion lively or heartfelt, depending on the topic that is being discussed. It is our goal to make them feel at home when they are with us, simply enjoying our company rather than fiddling with their gadgets.
A lack of meaningful conversation and bonding can alienate our children from us.
It will lead them to perceive us more as strangers rather than loved ones with whom they can share their most intimate thoughts and emotions.
Thus, frequent arguments and disputes can ensue as they feel rejected, unloved, and misunderstood. As a result, they grow more attached to their friends than to their parents.
3. Observe the Type of Friends They Hang Out with
As children often form emotional attachments to their parents in the early years, building strong bonds with them is a breeze.
It is inevitable, however, that your relationship with your child will eventually encounter challenges as they mature into young adults.
This problem occurs when children are severely influenced by their peers. And if they are being around misbehaving friends, they often adopt those inappropriate behaviors themselves.
It is also at this stage in their lives that their need for independence becomes quite apparent. Thus, they are more inclined to listen to friends than to their parents.
In such circumstances, conflicts between parents and children are likely to occur more frequently than they should.
And as your teenagers try to assert their independence, it can be a bit of a challenge as you attempt to dissuade them from forming friendships with peers with unsavory backgrounds.
What Can Parents Do in Such a Situation?
If you had established a strong bond with your children in their early years, trying to influence their decisions in their teen years will not be as difficult.
However, if that is not the case, you may have to overcome so many hurdles to shield your kids from all negative influences.
Having a heart-to-heart talk with our children is key to helping them realize that we have their best interests at heart. Therefore, they are more likely to follow our instructions rather than defy them.
And when trying to distance your child from bad influences, you may want to consider the following:
4. It is never a good idea to criticize his friends
Insulting or criticizing his friends will only make him resent you because an attack on his peers will only be viewed as a direct attack on his character.
Human nature also dictates that we defend those we have forged a strong bond with. Thus, vilifying his friends is futile.
5. Always come from a place of help to avoid conflict
Simply express your concern about his friends’ unhealthy behavior, such as cutting classes, smoking cigarettes, etc. Talk about it from a place of help rather than mocking his friends for their reckless behavior.
Over time, he will come to respect your views and will likely avoid associating with a bad company on his own.
Nevertheless, if you suspect your child is in imminent danger due to his close association with people of questionable character, then drastic measures or intervention may be necessary.
6. Have Him Watch a Movie about the Danger of Hanging Out With the Wrong People
Alternatively, you can watch a movie together about young people whose lives were destroyed by the negative influences of their peers.
Oftentimes, movies provide a more profound approach to clarifying things we can’t at times articulate or convey on our own.
7. Be Mindful of the Type of Tv Shows And Movies They Watch Online
Violence and sexually suggestive content, for instance, are no longer confined to programs for adults but have also crept into children’s shows.
A lenient approach to harmful media content has brought about the proliferation and easy access to programs geared toward adults.
Such inappropriate content can have an impact on a child’s mental and emotional well-being, resulting in behavioral problems and increased parent-child conflict.
8. Setting Clear Boundaries to Alleviate Conflict Between Parents And Children
When children are taught to respect boundaries, parent and child conflict can be avoided.
However, when setting guidelines concerning restrictions, parents must be willing to compromise, but only within reasonable and acceptable terms.
Children are most likely to obey rules and respect boundaries if they are allowed to participate in the decision-making process.
For instance, you may allow a child to watch her favorite show for an hour. In case she enjoys the show and wants to watch it more, try to reach a compromise.
You could ask her how long she needs. In the event that you consider her request excessive, you may suggest a shorter time frame.
9. Never Underestimate the Power of a Praying Parent
Most importantly, pray fervently to protect our children from bad influences. The power of a praying parent cannot be overstated. There have been myriad stories of juvenile delinquents or even rebellious adult children whose lives were transformed because of their parents’ steadfast prayers.
References:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/